it's been forever since i posted.. but i need to talk, get some stuff out.

lately.. iunno, i've been feeling so lonely. so.. empty, like there's no one there. no one to talk to.. i feel as if all my friends have vanished and i'm looking at myself in the mirror. re-evaluating myself, re-evaluating my life. on sunday, there was a sermon about choosing friends..and being a friend. and i've decided.. after seeing the way i treat ppl, and the way ppl treat me.. who i am, and who are the people that will help me to seek after God's heart.

to my close friends.. i've been treating them so bad lately. those friends that are true to me. the ones that care for real, the ones that've stood by me for a long while now. and i'm really sorry.. that i've been a bad friend. a reckless friend. i've been drifting bak and forth from group to group, try to make myself seem special. haha.
how self-centered. "me"... i'm growing to hate me more and more everyday. who i am. i need to change, i know that. i want to be a person.. who seeks after God's heart.. and to do that, i need to pursue with an honest heart... a fair heart. one that shouldn't be concentrating on worldly needs but one that feeds off of God's words.

baptism is coming up soon. i guess, it's amazing now that i think about it.. that God has given me this opportunity to see what i am. how i am in this current life of mine. giving me a chance to think about the things i do.

i pray that i'll be able to do the right things now. to know the difference between true friends, and friends that will lead me astray.
:) that's all. byebye.