this is particularly meant for anyone to read.. but if you just happen to stumble upon it.. yea well it's just some stuff that has been stuck in my mind. feel free to read.

lately.. it's been hard for me to accept me, and the way i am. two of my closest friends at skool are two of the prettiest girls at skoool. they always get to go out with their friends, they are always pretty, they are friendly and they're just so awesome. it's so hard.. because they always get the guy's attention and my friends soon become their friends. i feel as if my world is gettin smaller and smaller. i can't compare with them or anything.. and it just really sucks being their friend sometimes. one of them has an awesome boyfriend that loves her lots, the other has boys flirtin with her all the time. i feel llike.. i'm just there. to be there for them, and that's it. i'm not much at all. i know i shouldn't be complaining.. and i should be luky to have such awesome friends like them but i honestly feel like i don't belong. they have such great sense of styles, one can draw, one can sing and dance, both are smart... and it's like they're so lucky.
i feel like a thorn among roses. but iunno it's probally me just being jealous. i can't help it .. but oh well :) that's life. haha i just hope that i can still stay strong with God, regardless of all these evil emotions that dwell in me. I know i'm not that special or awesome or cool at all.. but i exist in this world and i want to do God's work... i know that God will give me the confidence and strength.. but i have to push through all these jealous thoughts and stupid stuff in my mind.
i wish.. majoirie was here so that i can talk to him.. and maybe he'll give some good advice but he's away in Ottawa.. =/ sighz* well. wish me luck. i'll be needing it.